It’s the age old dilemma for a Canadian travelling internationally: how to avoid the hate and ire much of the world has for Americans from being misdirected at you, an innocent Canadian, wh…
Tag: David Suzuki
Coming clean: David Suzuki admits to thinking the Marineland jingle slaps
NIAGARA FALLS, ON – The world of environmental activism has been rocked by David Suzuki’s recent revelation: against his own morals, he loves the Marineland jingle as much as the rest of us…
Weatherman predicting thunderstorm condemned for encouraging rain
VANCOUVER – In the wake of David Suzuki being condemned for inciting violence after warning that, if politicians don’t do more to combat climate change there could be attacks on oil &…
Alberta launches contact tracing app notifying users if they’ve been near David Suzuki
EDMONTON – The Canadian Energy Centre has launched a new mobile app that will warn users if they were in close contact with environmentalist David Suzuki. Albertans who download the mobile …
Canadian Mint running dangerously low on shit to print on quarters
OTTAWA – The Royal Canadian Mint declared a state of crisis this week, announcing that they have nearly run out of ideas for pictures to print on the quarter. “The mint has a proud history …
5 random children invited to David Suzuki Foundation as enigmatic environmentalist chooses successor
VANCOUVER – A hush fell over the rapt crowd on Monday as mysterious environmentalist David Suzuki appeared in public for the first time in years to choose a successor. Heavily favouring a g…
Portraits of Canadiosity: David Suzuki
David Suzuki. A great Canadian, a great environmentalist, and a nightmare for hitmen.…
Rebounding biodiversity: bison attacks are up 2,000%
WEST CREASE, AB – At one time reduced to a population of fewer than 600, Canadian populations of the Plains Bison have rebounded to the point where an unprecedented crisis of bison attacks …
Stephen Harper found chained to police station by caped vigilante David Suzuki
OTTAWA – Former Prime Minister and maniacal rejecter of the Kyoto Protocol Stephen Harper has kept a low profile since October, but was found early this morning chained to a police station …
Montreal environmentalists drive to Cornwall for #2
MONTREAL — Following the start of a massive raw sewage dump into the St. Lawrence river, environmentalists across the island of Montreal have begun driving to facilities in nearby Cornwall,…