Having taken home the Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar for Women Talking, Sarah Polley has officially graduated from precocious Canadian tv star to full Hollywood royalty. And if you want to check o…
Tag: crying
Uncircumcised man slips on turtleneck
CALEDON, ON – An exasperated Gene Snift finally yielded to the many interview requests from giggling reporters about the “turtleneck incident” that occured last week. “If I’m being totally …
Man who records his refusal to wear a mask determined to turn local humiliation global
KINGSTON, ON – After being politely asked to comply with public health mandates to wear a mask at local establishments during a global pandemic, local man Clarence Heart pulled out his phon…
Local man eats ghost pepper as excuse to finally cry around his friends
Hamilton, ON – Twenty-six year old Julian Tormeida was recently spotted on an endorphin fueled rush as he finally cried in front of his childhood friends due to the assistance of cleverly p…
Local woman unsure why she’s crying
VICTORIA, B.C. – 34-year-old Olivia Vasquez was left puzzled when she started crying in line at the grocery store, seemingly without cause, earlier today. “I was in line to buy a thing of m…
Openly sobbing in public entirety of woman’s self-care ritual
ST. JOHN’S, NL – When taking her lunch hour outside on a bench yesterday, Samira Kader devoted the majority of her break to sobbing uncontrollably. Kader asserted that crying in public was …
Progress! Woman-friendly workplace installs crying room
VANCOUVER—As more and more women have fought their way into once male-dominated careers, some employers have been slow to adjust to the needs of female employees. But thanks to some creative and …
Toronto’s hippest ice cream shop features ice cream you eat in bed while crying
TORONTO – The summer’s newest ice cream trend finally allows customers to be their truest selves. Check out Kensington Market’s new ice cream shop, “Dry Your Ice”, featuring ice cream that …
Local woman flattered coworker chose her office to cry in
VANCOUVER—Local claims adjuster Laura Filberg is reportedly feeling a mix of gratitude and pride after, following what appeared to be a brief moment of deliberation, her colleague selected her of…
Emotionally unavailable boyfriend cries as sports legend retires
BROCKVILLE, ON – Reports this evening indicate that 27-year-old Dillon Carsaw, who up until now has shown little to no sign of emotional affection towards others, has spent the past two hou…