Earth, Milky Way – Earth has finally revealed the biggest life hacks it’s using to make 2024 its hottest year ever. Earth has taken millennia to develop the ideal morning routine. While it…
Tag: climate
Breaking: Some sort of entirely futile climate conference happening again
A LARGE CITY WE DIDN’T BOTHER TO LOOK UP ― World leaders are once again convening to draw up a set of ambitious promises they definitely won’t fulfill, toothless goals which wouldn’t do much anyw…
Weather reports now just daily list of records broken in latest heatwave
OAKVILLE, ONTARIO ― Canadian meteorology channel The Weather Network announced today that it will soon be transitioning to a record-based method of reporting daily temperatures. Come September, t…
If re-elected, Tory promises to increase flooding until Toronto a gondola-filled Venice of the North
TORONTO – With the mayoral election less than a month away, John Tory is running on his record of turning Toronto into a stormwater-flooded city of breathtaking waterways. “Imagine it,” sai…
Climate wondering how much it has to change before humans notice
EARTH — After breaking records with sweltering mid-summer temperatures, the Climate for the planet Earth is reportedly at a loss as to how much it needs to change before eliciting any respo…
Justin Trudeau demands ISIS reduce greenhouse gas emissions by 20%
PARIS – In an impassioned speech at the Paris Climate Summit on Tuesday, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau issued a public demand that the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) immediately take step…