CALGARY – After a long, gruelling season, Flames fans were finally able to celebrate a true victory when the Edmonton Oilers were shockingly swept out of the Playoffs. “You know, it…
Tag: Calgary
Anti-maskers celebrate Daft Punk breakup
CALGARY – Anti-maskers celebrated today after the announcement that Daft Punk, pioneering electronic musicians known for monster hits like “Get Lucky” and their robot helmet aes…
Man without savings account loves to discuss his concerns about the economy
CALGARY – A local man without a savings account has discovered a new passion for ripping on the nation’s complicated, finely balanced economy. “These are dark times for investors and financ…
Conservatives discover police bad
CALGARY – In the wake of Calgary police arresting, manhandling and threatening to taser a man for violating COVID regulations while playing hockey, the right wing was shocked to discover th…
Report: man who flossed two nights in a row finally has gotten life back together
CALGARY – In a big win, 32-year-old Dave Frescos has finally managed to gather the internal strength necessary to floss for two nights in a row after weeks quarantined alone in a basement a…
Local man eyes 2010 Fun-Run t-shirt as potential toilet paper substitute
CALGARY — With only two rolls remaining and the grocery stores empty, local pipe fitter Trevor Bilton has reported considering alternative toilet paper options during his COVID-19 quarantin…
Office Star Wars Guy upset about his space bullshit again
CALGARY – A new report from HR suggests that Brian from accounting, whose only prevailing personality trait is a lifelong obsession with Star Wars, is once again pissed about his space bull…
12-year-old girl ready to take on world after purchase of puka shell necklace
CALGARY, AB — Grade 4 student and fifth in line for being most popular, Cydney Applebaum, has reported feeling ecstatic after her recent purchase of a white puka shell necklace on a recent …