MONTREAL – In a show of respect to one of Brian Mulroney’s most cherished governing principles as prime minister, his funeral will be privatized. During his nine years as prime minister, Br…
Tag: Brian Mulroney
Canada to honour Brian Mulroney with week of raised GST rate
OTTAWA – In response to the death of Brian Mulroney, Canada’s 18th Prime Minister, the government has announced the nation’s GST will be doubled for one week. “The flags will go down, and the ta…
Brian Mulroney stays up all night writing daughter’s victory speech
TORONTO – With the sun rising on the day of the Ontario PC leadership vote, a haggard Brian Mulroney has completed writing his daughter’s victory speech. While the speech had already been w…
Experts: next Tory leader will be candidate whose tie has largest Windsor
OTTAWA – With the Conservative leadership race heating up, experts say the next party leader will be whoever has the biggest, most ostentatious tie knot around their neck. “Tory voters need…
Conservatives once again appoint a woman to clean up their mess
OTTAWA — Keeping a longstanding tradition alive that dates back to 1993, the Conservative Party has selected woman MP Rona Ambrose to tidy up the mess left by patriarch Stephen Harper. “The…
Justin Trudeau returns to 24 Sussex to find his old crusty socks
OTTAWA — Prime Minister-designate Justin Trudeau had time to visit his old childhood homestead where he found his secret pair of old crusty socks. The pair of stained yellow Hanes socks wit…
Canada looks forward to finding out how it was screwed by the TPP
OTTAWA — With Canada now signed on to the Trans Pacific Partnership, Canadians are excited to find out just how much they have been screwed. “I can’t wait to see who got it the most!” said …
Man suffocates to death in Mike Duffy mask
HALIFAX, NS – Tragedy struck a Halloween party in downtown Halifax last night. Joe Wallis, who was dressed up as Mike Duffy was pronounced dead after suffocating in his mask. “We believe th…
Canadians stealing state secrets from China find nothing but Canadian state secrets
DANDONG, CHINA- Two married Canadian nationals accused of stealing state secrets from the Chinese government have admitted to the act of subterfuge, but have claimed that the only secrets they di…