TORONTO – In the latest in a string of branding acquisitions, telecom giant Rogers has secured all naming rights over Bell Canada. “When I think of Bell Canada, I think of a heartless, megalithic…
Tag: Bell
Canadians hoping Musk will buy Bell and Rogers next
OTTAWA – As Elon Musk completes his unintentional mission to reduce twitter, which he bought for 44 billion dollars, to a pile of smoldering ash, Canadians are hoping his next investment wi…
Erin O’Toole reverses position he hasn’t announced yet
OTTAWA – In the wake of changing his position on abortion, guns and the carbon tax, Erin O’Toole has also announced that he no longer plans to sell corporate naming rights to all of …
Rogers can’t fucking believe they’re the less evil telecom giant
TORONTO – The Board of Rogers Communications Inc. expressed disbelief this morning that they’ve become the ‘good one’ of Canada’s two telecom giants. “I don…
Bell asks Canadians to stop talking
MONTREAL – Bell Media shocked the radio market Tuesday when it shuttered three of its sports-themed stations as part of an ongoing layoff streak, following their recent “Let’s Talk” mental …
UN charity asks world to donate cell phone data to needy Canadians
NEW YORK – The UN General Assembly has approved a new development fund, which is calling upon countries to donate their cell phone data to a needy Canadian. “The United Nations Data Relief …
Telus threatens to euthanize animals if CRTC approves mobile virtual network operators
OTTAWA – Saying that if they wanted cute commercials instead of carcasses, they should do as he says, Telus CEO and President Darren Entwistle recommended that the CRTC not mandate mobile v…
Rogers unveils new “Worse Than Your Current Plan” plans
TORONTO — Telecom giant Rogers Wireless has announced a new cellphone plan which they promise customers will be a much worse deal than the Rogers plan they are currently on. Rogers’ new Wor…
Canada promises to regulate legal cannabis with same fairness and efficiency as telecommunications
OTTAWA – Addressing concerns that many Canadians have about the imminent legalisation of recreational cannabis, the federal government has committed to applying the same common sense polici…
Liam Neeson to star in film featuring Canadian man taking vengeance on cell phone company
TORONTO – Liam Neeson will star in a Taken-inspired action film centered around a Canadian man who seeks vengeance on his cell phone provider who charged him over $200. After reluctantly ag…
