Memory foam mattress never lets local man forget
GREY COUNTY – Despite constantly trying to distract himself from what happened during that portentous night of November 17, 1996, Owen Sound resident Gabriel Tougas’ polyurethane matt…
Harper prorogues parliament to catch up on Breaking Bad, Mad Men
WHITEHORSE – Prime Minister Harper announced today that he will be proroguing Parliament until October so he can get up to speed with his favorite AMC television shows. “This has been a grueling …
Huma Abedin to join cast of ‘Real Housewives of New York’
The long-time Hillary Clinton aide and wife of disgraced congressman and New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner, Huma Abedin, has been tapped to join the cast of Bravo’s Real Housewives of New…
Man proud his Tamagotchi still alive and doing fine
Terrebonne, QC – A Terrebonne man is the proud owner of the oldest Tamagotchi in North America, having kept the toy alive since receiving the popular alien-egg computer game in 1996. Rene-C…
University of Ottawa‘s School of Government delayed with missing paperwork, long lines
OTTAWA – The University of Ottawa’s has been forced to delay the opening its faculty of governance studies due to the bureaucratic process. “Despite our foresight to build a national, non-p…
Senator and MP Expense Claims 2012
The recent Senate expense scandal has raised many eyebrows on what Senators and Members of Parliament have been claiming for reimbursement. Above is a breakdown of what MPs and Senators have been…
Montreal Biosphere sold to become oil sands interpretation centre
MONTREAL- Montreal’s famed Biosphere Environment Museum has been sold by the federal government to the Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers to make way for a new oil sands education centre…
Kevin O’Leary completes hostile takeover of children’s lemonade stand
TORONTO – Sources inside O’Leary Funds say that their CEO has successfully gained controlling ownership of Timothy and Caroline Gowan’s lemonade stand in Toronto’s west end. “Now that we control …
Blackberry execs consider taking out the battery and putting it back in
WATERLOO – With market share rapidly diminishing and the latest Blackberry 10 phones not performing as expected, Blackberry President and CEO Thorsten Heins announced that the company was c…
Putin petitions IOC to have rainbow colours removed from Olympic symbol
MOSCOW – Following the passage of a controversial anti-gay bill in Russia, President Vladimir Putin is now attempting to remove all rainbow colours from the Olympic symbol in preparation fo…
