Local dad pretty sure firework should have exploded by now
BRANDON, MB – Seeing as it’s been a good five or ten minutes since he lit his Roman candle, local dad Brook Jensen reports that he’s “almost certain” that the shell …
Canada is a great country vs. Oh shit the beer store is closed today
Point: Canada is a great country By Jane Sayers Another Canada Day is upon us and I just want to take a moment to say how much I appreciate the privilege to live in this great country. This truly…
Canadian Politician Look-alike Poll: Vote for Toronto Mayor Rob Ford and classic James Bond villain Goldfinger
Round 5 of our Canadian Politician look-alike poll matches Toronto Mayor Rob Ford and Auric Goldfinger, the antagonist from the James Bond movie Goldfinger. They both have an affinity for money. …
US middle school makes trip to Toronto, Canada’s capital
ASHTABULA, OH – Ashtabula middle school students left on a field trip to Toronto this morning in an effort to see the northern nation’s capital city. “I’ll tell ya, it’s m…
Jason Kenney just wants to find love, expel all refugees
According to sources on Parliament Hill, MP and Minister for Citizenship, Immigration and Multiculturalism Jason Kenney has recently been speaking more and more about his two major life goals: to…
Chicago Blackhawks dedicate Stanley Cup win to the spirits of their Native American ancestors
CHICAGO – Returning home for a Stanley Cup parade after a shocking Game 6 victory over the Boston Bruins, Chicago Blackhawks players were quick to credit the warrior spirit and enduring tra…
Michael Hastings dies in car crash
Journalist Michael Hastings sent worried emails about federal authorities investigating him and needing to go “off the radar” to cover a “big story” hours before dying in a car crash. What’s your…
Harper on Alberta floods: ‘Don’t worry, the oil is okay’
CALGARY – Prime Minister Stephen Harper reassured Canadians yesterday that Alberta’s most important natural resource, oil, had escaped significant damage from the flash floods that ha…
BREAKING: The Beaverton Live! plays tonight!
For show details visit our Facebook event page: The Beaverton Live! Purchase tickets in advance from Brown Paper Tickets.…
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