Harper government continues to face criticism for F-35 jet costs
Responding to continued criticisms over the high price tag of F-35 jets, the Conservative government has taken the project out of the Defence Department’s hands and given it to Public Works…
Leafs decide friendship more important than playoffs anyway
TORONTO – The Toronto Maple Leafs made a public statement today revealing that their friendship had, if anything, been strengthened by the team’s failure to make the playoffs for the …
After 10 years PEI finally returns Nova Scotia’s lawn mower
NOVA SCOTIA – The province of PEI finally returned a borrowed lawn mower from 10 years ago to its neighbours in Nova Scotia. “The lawn mower is making a funny noise now and they didn’t fill…
To be perfectly honest, I couldn’t give a shit what you have to say to me
By a Voice Recorder Listen. First off, I know we’ve been working together for quite some time. I appreciate your loyalty when you could easily buy a more modern and convenient iPod touch with a b…
Machismo exhibited by not holding pole in subway car
TORONTO – Local commuter Jeff Saunders impressed passengers on a subway car when he abstained from holding the pole as the train came to a halt, sources reported last week. As the subway de…
Guy that lives in suburbs tells everyone he lives downtown
PICKERING, ON – Suburban citizen Jake Laysley tells everyone he meets that he lives downtown, despite the 1.5-hour driving commute it takes him to arrive in Toronto from his house in Picker…
Vancouver Canucks mascot returned to wild
VANCOUVER – Buckling under mounting pressure from animal rights activists, the Vancouver Canucks released their mascot, Fin the Whale, back into the wild earlier this week. Fin, a lovable k…
Clothed teen defies nudist parents
PONDEROSA, ON – Nudist colony parents of 15-year-old Francis Nickelby are struggling to cope with their teenage son’s rebellious behaviour, which involves wearing clothes. “It started about a yea…
