New Blackberry 10 allows users dozens of new ways to communicate about how shitty their Blackberry is
NEW YORK – Amid both fanfare and speculation about the device’s future, Research in Motion unveiled their new Blackberry 10 operating platform on Wednesday. The system, which will be availa…
Investigators conclude flying burnt skeletons cause of fiery plane crash
HAY RIVER, NWT – Transport Safety Board (TSB) Officials concluded today that a fiery plane wreck that resulted in millions in property damage was caused by burnt skeletons piloting the aircraft. …
Ontario Liberals historically elect first high-cheekboned, bespectacled premier who was also born in 1953
TORONTO – Political history was made in Toronto over the weekend when Kathleen Wynne became the first Liberal Leader of Ontario that wears glasses while having high cheekbones and who is op…
Theresa Spence begins eating strike
OTTAWA – Just hours after ending a 6-week-long hunger strike, Theresa Spence, Chief of the Attawapiskat First Nation, announced she is ignoring all medical advice and commencing an eating s…
Harper to First Nations: ‘We must support Israel’
OTTAWA – Addressing the ongoing calls for government commitment to pursue First Nations issues, Prime Minister Stephen Harper released a statement to Aboriginal leaders this Friday morning …
Machismo exhibited by not using lip balm
TORONTO – Local student Jeff Saunders impressed friends when he refused to use his girlfriend’s lip balm on his severely chapped lips, sources reported Thursday. Saunders and his girlfriend…
