Woman stabs coworker over Downton Abbey spoilers
MISSISSAUGA – In reaction to hearing important plot elements from an unreleased episode of Downton Abbey, 56-year-old administrative assistant Deborah Dean lashed out at her company’s 22-year-old…
Protective dad hides mirrors from ugly son
Bill Donovan is a stay-at-home accountant, a hobbyist, and a vegetarian, but it all comes second to lovingly hiding his only son from an ugly reflection. “It was hard at first, but you get used t…
Oscar Pistorius historically overcomes all physical and moral limitations
JOHANNESBURG – Only months removed from shattering the world’s perception of physically handicapped athletes and their abilities at the London 2012 Olympic Games, Oscar Pistorius, aka The B…
‘Just leave the report by my taser’ says RCMP to Human Rights Watch
OTTAWA – RCMP instructed Human Rights Watch to leave a damning report on abuse allegations of Aboriginal girls and women on the desk of the Duty Officer beside his taser. “Yeah, we’ll look at it …
Even Gary Oldman’s family not quite sure what he really looks like
LOS ANGELES – Tensions have risen in the household of thespian Gary Oldman, after his wife and children realized last week that they could not offer a solid description of the Mr. Oldman’s …
UPDATE: Pope resigns to spend more time with kids
VATICAN CITY – Pope Benedict XVI announced his intention to resign from the Papacy on Sunday, and sources close to the Pope are saying he’s excited to spend more time with kids. “He’s got a lot o…
Pope resigns, refuses to give up hat
VATICAN CITY – In addition to his sudden resignation as leader of the Catholic Church, Pope Benedict XVI shocked the College of Cardinals by refusing to give up his ceremonial mitre. “I can no lo…
In response to Ontario, Alberta elects first openly bigoted premier
EDMONTON – The province of Alberta has responded to the news of Ontario’s recently elected openly gay premier two weeks ago by making history of their own with the election of Canada’s firs…
Brazeau assault first thing a Senator has done in years
OTTAWA – Senator Patrick Brazeau’s recent arrest for domestic assault has shocked the country and caused his ejection from the Conservative caucus. But it has caused perhaps the most outrage in t…
