Toyota deeply regrets “Catch the Corolla Virus” ad campaign
JAPAN – Following an immense public backlash, Toyota Motor Corporation has issued a complete and unequivocal apology for the poorly considered wording of their multi-media ad campaign titled “Cat…
Internet worried it will run out of vital supplies of porn
THE INTERNET – Amid mass shortages of supplies of daily necessities like toilet paper and cleaning products, anxiety has started to increase with respect to a shortage of pornography available on…
Printer Finally Admits: I Had More Toner In Me
VICTORIA – This week in a remarkable display of altruism an HP Tango X Laserjet sent shockwaves through the stationary scene when it admitted its ‘low toner’ alert was a bold-faced-lie. Wit…
Oops! JK Rowling’s new children’s book has a 60-page TERF manifesto in the middle
LONDON, UK – Harry Potter author JK Rowling has come under fire after her new children’s book The Ickabog was published online with a novella-length TERF manifesto in the middle. “It was we…
LEGO recalls police sets after discovering pieces break down under slightest pressure
DENMARK – The LEGO corporation issued an announcement yesterday that it will be recalling all police-related toy sets after thousands of angry customers reported that the pieces broke down danger…
OPINION: It is nobody’s business what Lindsey Graham does in the privacy of his own voting record
As salacious rumours have begun swirling online about a certain republican senator with the initials “LG”, I want to remind everybody that it is absolutely nobody’s business wha…
Jeff Bezos on track to become first man to steal a trillion dollars from his employees
MEDINA, WA – A new report suggests that Amazon founder Jeff Bezos could become the first man on earth to successfully steal a trillion dollars from his employees. “Tim Cook, Elon Musk, the …
Justin Trudeau still pausing
OTTAWA – This past Tuesday, Justin Trudeau took a 21 second pause before commenting on Donald Trump’s use of military action against protestors. Three days after the briefing, sources repor…
Jet Ski ends its relationship with Stockwell Day
OTTAWA – Personal watercraft manufacturer Jet Ski has ended its relationship with Stockwell Day after the spokesman denied there was systemic racism in Canada. “Our relationship with Mr. Da…
Heartwarming! Major newspaper chain continues to publish deranged rants of ignorant old man
In these uncertain times, it can be useful to focus on small acts of human kindness, to remember our shared humanity through the generosity with which we treat each other. In that spirit, let’s a…
