Opinion: I am so much better than everyone in this Taco Bell

By: Bryler Chadwick Why is it that every time I eat at Taco Bell, I’m surrounded by people who eat at Taco Bell?! Like, what kind of people eat this crap? I’m a normal, respectable guy who works …

Business refusing to enforce vaccine passport has been violating labour laws for years in preparation for this moment

TORONTO – Saying the moment he has been waiting for was finally here, David McGrath, owner of Tito’s Bar and Grill, proudly announced that those who were not vaccinated were just as welcome…

PM spends Truth and Reconciliation Day pondering ongoing genocide of Indigenous Peoples while getting in one last summer swim

TOFINO, B.C. – As Canada observes its first National Day for Truth and Reconciliation, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is setting an important example for Canadians by occasionally taking tim…

Kenney proposes two-tier dying system

EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney is proposing to create more private access to the province’s dying system. The UCP leader says that he has a desire to improve how the government goe…

Jason Kenney assures Albertans he still having “Best Fall Ever”

EDMONTON – As Alberta reels from a 4th of COVID wave brought on by relaxed restrictions during the province’s promised “Best Summer Ever”, premier Jason Kenney assured frightened citizens t…

Half-eaten chip bag retrieved after 8 minutes in cupboard

TORONTO  – Reports found that yesterday local copywriter Gavin Issac retrieved his half-eaten family-sized bag of all-dressed potato chips exactly eight minutes and sixteen seconds after pu…

Nation doesn’t care enough about Saskatchewan to be embarrassed by it

REGINA – Despite a record high number of COVID-19 cases and a health system on the verge of collapse, polls indicate that not enough Canadians care about Saskatchewan to make it a national …

Oh Shit! The same people in charge of our COVID response are in charge of our Climate Change response

MONTRÉAL – People across Canada are slowly realizing that the people responsible for the handling of the COVID-19 pandemic are also the same people responsible for handling our response to …

Movement to replace O’Toole as leader stalls after Conservatives look at literally any of their other options

OTTAWA – Momentum for the ‘replace O’Toole’ movement that began on election night appears to have petered out after Conservative Party members took a quick glance at any o…

Disturbing UN prediction: by 2030, 80% of all newborns will be named Jackson

NEW YORK CITY- Representatives from the United Nations shocked the world today with the release of a damning report predicting that by the year 2030, 80% of all newborns will be named Jackson. “W…