Rain streaming off mansions onto millennials’ heads cited as proof trickle-down effect works
TORONTO, ON ― Multi-property owners, real-estate agents, and proponents of supply-side economics are praising the GTA housing market’s trickle-down success, whereby any water not filling their in…
Conservatives confident supporting a convoy of angry, far-right protestors descending on Capital won’t blow up in their faces this time
OTTAWA – As the “freedom convoy” rolls closer to Ottawa, Conservative MPs are increasingly voicing their support for the movement, confident that this time will be different. &#…
Ford government to introduce self-serve hospital beds
QUEEN’S PARK – As Ontario hospitals find themselves ill-equipped and under-staffed to treat skyrocketing COVID numbers, Premier Doug Ford announced a new line of self-serve hospital beds to…
Unvaccinated truckers demand Canada’s government change US government’s rules on unvaccinated truckers
VANCOUVER – Hundreds of truckers took to the road to demand the reversal of the federal Canadian government’s US federal government’s decision to not allow unvaccinated truckers into the Un…
“Probs just urine,” says woman who sat in wet seat on bus
VANCOUVER, BC – On her commute to work, 30-year-old mother and elementary school teacher, Mya Diaz, sat in a wet seat on her B-Line bus, but reassured herself that the mysterious fluid was …
As Russia prepares to invade Ukraine, West rapidly deploys stockpile of vague condemnations
BRUSSELS – In light of Russia’s aggressive military buildup near the Ukrainian border, Western nations have ordered their stockpiles of vague condemnations to be placed at the highest…
Ontario schools really hoping to score a coveted 100% on their PCR tests
ETOBICOKE, ON – As students head back to school across the province, Ontario is holding out hope for a coveted 100% on their symptomatic COVID-19 PCR tests. “Of all the province-wide standa…
Failed artist excited for career in real estate
VANCOUVER – Failed playwright Jacob Jones was gleeful today after passing his real estate exam. While Jones’ ambition to see his work premier on Broadway – or even at a local Fringe F…
Nova Scotian school changes name from ‘Prince Andrew’ to more respectable ‘Randy from Trailer Park Boys High’
DARTMOUTH, NS – In the wake of Prince Andrew’s involvement with the ongoing Jeffrey Epstein sex scandal, a local high school will no longer be named after the disgraced royal and will inste…
