Man who can’t afford to travel enters minute 25 of listening to friend’s airport horror story
TORONTO – Local man Eric Braiser is currently approaching the half-hour mark of politely listening to his friend Sarah talk about what a nightmare her recent flight out of Pearson was. R…
REPORT: Loneliness epidemic singled out, ostracized by other epidemics
RICHMOND, BC – As persistent loneliness continues to affect the health of billions, it remains unable to gain acceptance and inclusion from its epidemic peers. “I’ve been harming people’s well-be…
Vancouver removes tents from Eastside unless they can prove they’re a weed shop
VANCOUVER – This week on Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside police began removing tents from the sidewalks, unless the individuals inside could show proof that the structure is actually a cannab…
New U.S. Environmental Protection Plan basically just giving nature guns
WASHINGTON, DC- The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency announced its new strategy to conserve natural spaces; distributing firearms to all native plant and animal species to allow them to prote…
Columnist just going to re-run his “Nobody Wants To Work Anymore!” editorial from last month to save the effort
TORONTO – David Maddux, one of the National Post’s best hate-click generators, has decided to simply re-run his Nobody Wants To Work Anymore column to save himself the time and effort…
Oh no! Unread email continues to exist
WINNIPEG – Local account manager Meghan Gessele was horrified this week to discover that, upon returning to her workstation after using the restroom, an unread email she had left unread was…
“How do we make baseball more exciting?” asks only sport with mandatory stretch break
NEW YORK – This weekend, MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred held an emergency meeting to discuss how the league could reignite viewer interest in the intensely long and excruciatingly slow-paced sport …
Hockey Canada buries Lucky Sexual Assault Settlement under centre ice before start of World Juniors
EDMONTON – In an effort to bring a little luck to our boys, Hockey Canada has revealed they had the ice maintenance crew at Rogers Place bury a lucky confidential sexual assault settlement …
10 craziest things the FBI found in Trump’s Mar-A-Lago estate
In the wake of the FBI’s raid into his private quarters at the Mar-A-Lago resort, there are many questions to be answered about what the investigation means for Donald Trump, the government…
FBI confirms everything seized in Mar-a-Lago raid very, very sticky
PALM BEACH, FL – FBI agents who recently participated in the raid on former President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort have revealed to the press that while they are still sifting through the relevance …
