Ontario certain they can fund gambling addiction support with money brought in from legalized gambling
QUEEN’S PARK – With Ontario now aiming to provide more accessible treatment options for anyone struggling with gambling addiction, the Ford government reportedly has absolute confiden…
Jagmeet Singh upset over not being invited to Liberal cabinet sleepover
OTTAWA – In comments made to reporters NDP leader Jagmeet Singh expressed considerable upset over being left out of Justin’s 3-night Liberal cabinet sleepover in Vancouver, which Justin inv…
Buckingham Palace confirms death of Queen at Meghan Markle’s hands probably
LONDON – Britain’s Royal Family has officially confirmed that Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth the II is dead at age 96, with her cause of death “almost certainly” being Suits suppor…
Mom really upset you made that joke about the Queen
THORNHILL, ON – In late breaking news your mother has reportedly sent multiple disappointed messages this afternoon after you posted a joke about Queen Elizabeth in the family group chat. Y…
Western University mandate 3 vaccine shots, 15 Jaegermeister shots
LONDON, ON – In an effort to protect students and faculty against COVID-19 and being a buzzkill, Western University announced that everyone entering the campus must have had at least 3 shot…
Restaurants add option to tip server’s entire salary
TORONTO – In a bold new move, restaurants are adding the option to tip your server’s whole salary. After successful tipping increases to 20% and even 30%, business owners decided to keep it going…
Hockey Canada insists it can change its culture without replacing leadership, changing culture
OTTAWA – As they continue to resist calls for institutional change, Hockey Canada officials are promising Canadians that they will be able to eliminate the rape culture currently pervasive …
5 fun or cheap activities to make the most of summer, and yes, we did mean “or”
OTTAWA – The long weekend is coming up, and you’re seeking ways of maximizing your time while minimizing your expenses. But every listicle promising low-cost excitement disappoints you with…
Conservatives explain why they are supporting Pierre Poilievre for Leader
With Pierre Poilievre expected to be chosen as Conservative Party Leader this week, we sat down with Conservative Party members who explained why they voted for him. Sven McDaniels (Accountant) &…
“Now that Canadian home prices have dropped, I can finally afford a house!” says maybe one person, maybe
TORONTO – After a recent drop in the Canadian housing market, city dweller and accounts manager, Benedict Witt, 34, has become the only person that is considering he may now be able to affo…
