WASHINGTON D.C. – After banning press outlets including CNN, MS Now, and Politico, President Donald Trump has removed numerous other journalists, leaving only those he trusts to portray him…
U.S.
Trump notes that falling asleep onstage at 9/11 ceremony technically counts as moment of silence
ARLINGTON COUNTY, VA – Awakening briefly, President Trump addressed Americans assembled to pay their respects to the victims of the September 11th attacks, insisting that his mid-morning na…
Trump reminisces about how he single-handedly prevented 9/11 from ever happening
WASHINGTON, D.C. — US President Donald Trump waxed nostalgic about how he single-handedly prevented the September 11 terrorist attacks from ever happening. Trump told a group of supporters that, …
Hegseth pauses busy schedule of inspecting soldiers’ scrotums to make weird comments about Canadian teens’ bodies
WASHINGTON D.C. – Secretary of War Pete Hegseth has posted disparaging comments about female Canadian Air Force cadets, all while maintaining his busy schedule of personally inspecting the …
Trump threatens to inflict as much economic damage on Iran as he has on America
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After six months of military humiliation in his war with Iran Donald Trump has declared a new plan to damage the Iranian economy as viciously as he has the American econo…
Trump protects children from Epstein-class by ensuring none live long enough to be exploited
WASHINGTON D.C. – Responding to criticism that his recent executive order on childhood vaccines is medically unsound, President Trump has argued that its motivation was preventing kids from being…
Ghislaine Maxwell suicide scheduled for next Thursday
WASHINGTON D.C. – The United States Department of Justice has released a joint statement with the Federal Bureau of Prisons, announcing the tragic suicide of notorious sex trafficker and Je…
Trump unable to take on BBC
LONDON – U.S. President Donald Trump is reportedly ending a high profile court case, after realizing that he was no match for the overwhelming power of his opponent: The world-renowned BBC.…
Republicans insist Mitch McConnell resting comfortably following routine taxidermy procedure
WASHINGTON D.C. – GOP lawmakers are chastizing their Democratic colleagues, as well as members of the media, for inquiring about the 6 week disappearance of Sen. Mitch McConnell, insisting …
Trump Admin demands to know why Ottawa not paying for American smoke crossing into Canada
WASHINGTON D.C. – As President Trump threatens to tariffs due to smoke from Canadian wildfires, he is also lambasting Prime Minister Carney over failure to pay for American smoke crossing o…
