MENLO PARK, CA – Following the announcement that the corporation which owns Facebook, Instagram and Oculus has changed its name to Meta Platforms, Inc., the process which results in cancero…
Tech
Shatner manages to have 3 torrid love affairs during 10 minute space flight
VAN HORN, TX – Despite being in space for a mere ten minutes, the man who played Captain Kirk in the 1960s version of Star Trek managed to seduce a sexy Klingon, a USS Enterprise psychologi…
New Rogers Infinite Plus deal gives unlimited data for your mortal soul
Rogers has revealed a brand new plan that gives unlimited data for low, low cost of your mortal soul. “It is but a trifle. A small thing.” says Yog Sothothery, high priest of Rogers Communication…
Cutting edge Facebook app lets you attend VR-meetings that should’ve been e-mails
MENLO PARK, CA – Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has announced the release of Horizon Workrooms, an ultra-high-tech solution to the age-old problem of your boss needing to find new and expensi…
Old computer has no idea it’s being used to shop for new computer
KAMLOOPS, BC – Trevor Adams’ 2010 Macbook Pro is completely oblivious to the fact that, despite years of loyal service, it is currently aiding Adams’ to find its replacement. “I do fe…
Adorable! This boy found a bird with a broken wing, nursed it back to health, and then explained to it what NFTs are
OWEN SOUND, ON – A heartwarming scene unfolded earlier this week when nine-year-old Billy Simmons rescued a chickadee that had fallen out of its nest and gave it a crash course on non-fungible to…
4-year old tab closed, never read
NORTH BAY, ON – On Sunday, William Herd finally closed a browser tab he had opened four years ago. The tab contained a long-read from ProPublica on what the world can expect from a Trump pr…
Inspiring! Clubhouse community comes together to make sure you don’t get an invite
SAN FRANCISCO – In a heartwarming display of solidarity, the entire community of the audio-only social media platform Clubhouse have banded together to make sure that you, specifically, nev…
Number of Astrology apps on woman’s phone reaches critical mass
BURNABY, BC – A local woman’s interest in her natal chart recently turned dangerous when the number of astrology apps on her phone reached critical mass. Skye Davis, 23, reported recently t…
Woman with death wish shares opinion on Twitter
SASKATOON, SK – Local woman Audrey Cortland has boldly dared to voice an opinion on Twitter, because apparently she has a fucking death wish. “This past year has been incredibly difficult for eve…
