VANCOUVER – Local coworkers are expressing frustration as one member of their fantasy hockey league, Dave Henson in Sales, won’t stop bragging for 10 goddamned seconds about his late-pick d…
Sports
Changed O Canada lyrics received with understanding and nuance by nation’s trolls
OTTAWA — Singer Jully Black’s rendition of O Canada at the NBA All-Star game, in which she changed the lyric to “Our home on Native land,” was overwhelmingly and universally well received by the …
REPORT: Oh Fuck! Rihanna still up there!
GLENDALE, AZ – It’s been 12 hours since the end of yesterday’s Superbowl and fans are still reeling over a nail-biting finish, with parties continuing into the early…… oh shit! Did you guys…
New Brunswick purchases Super Bowl ad by selling Moncton
FREDERICTON – During tonight’s Super Bowl broadcast viewers will see a new ad encouraging tourists to visit scenic New Brunswick, which the province financed by selling off the city of Monc…
Guinness frantically publishing new world record book every time LeBron scores another basket
LOS ANGELES – Staff at Guinness World Records are scrambling to publish an up-to-date version of their record book every time LeBron James breaks his own all-time scoring record. “It was so excit…
Canucks aim to improve their reputation by hiring former player Todd Bertuzzi as Health and Fitness Coach
VANCOUVER – Faced with an onslaught of negative publicity for the way they handled the firing of Bruce Boudreau, the Vancouver Canucks are looking to gain back some popular support by hirin…
Hockey world in shock after NHL star marries brunette
NEW YORK CITY – Controversial Rangers defenseman Darryl King has set tongues wagging in the NHL community with his marriage to Katherine Evermore, who, according to insiders, is “almost off…
Oilers fan sick of media always talking about the Leafs has tweeted about the Leafs 6 times today
EDMONTON – Leonard Bagan, a die-hard Edmonton Oilers fan, says he is sick and tired of Canada’s sports media always covering the Toronto Maple Leafs, a team he has devoted his life to…
Basketball Insider: Get me out, I’m stuck inside a basketball!
Scotiabank Arena, Toronto – It’s that exciting time of year when the NBA season really starts to heat up, but personally, I wish it wouldn’t, because I’m stuck inside one of the basketballs. Help…
FIFA announces losing World Cup teams have to take a stadium home with them
QATAR – As the World Cup enters its final phase, FIFA and Qatar have issued a joint statement that the last 7 teams knocked out of the tournament will be required to take the stadium in whi…
