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North
Yukon exposed to 2 cases of assholes
WHITEHORSE – The territorial government of Yukon has announced people in Whitehorse, and the Beaver Creek area may have been exposed to 2 cases of asshole. The confirmed cases, who used the…
Yukon refuses to change clocks back in smug defiance of the will of Demeter
WHITEHORSE – The people of Yukon refused to turn their clocks back an hour today in clear defiance of the goddess Demeter. This has sparked concern from the priests and priestesses in charg…
Rest of Canada happy to exchange NWT election results for federal one
YELLOWKNIFE – Polls indicate that a majority of Canadians would accept the results of today’s legislative election in NWT if it replaced the federal vote later this month. 87% of exhausted …
Conservation officers safely tranquilize municipal elections candidate wandering through neighbourhood
WHITEHORSE – A vote hungry municipal candidate roaming through the Whitehorse neighbourhood of Riverdale was safely removed by conservation officers yesterday. The 185 lbs pamphlet-wielding…
Dempster Highway to be renamed after bread company’s sponsorship ends
DAWSON CITY, YT – The 737 km highway stretch that connects Yukon to the Arctic Ocean in Tuktoyaktuk, NWT will be renamed after the Canada Bread subsidiary and the territorial governments pa…
Dawson City River fountain deemed a success
DAWSON CITY, YT – The Yukon Government is celebrating its first successful run of a brutalist-style river fountain, which attracted the curiosity of many residents and even stirred national…
Whitehorse grandfather from 2075 regales grandchildren about surviving with only 2 Starbucks locations
GREATER WHISTLE BEND AREA – An 88-year-old grandfather recounted another harrowing tale of survival when the fledgling Yukon capital only had a mere two Starbucks locations. “Back in my day…
Permanent road to Arctic Ocean means endangered species can hitchhike away from climate change
TUKTOYAKTUK, NT – With the completion of a permanent road connecting Inuvik to Tuktoyaktuk, endangered and at-risk species can finally flee the the effects of climate change by hitchhiking …
Whitehorse RCMP riot squad deployed to Save-On-Foods opening to quell artisanal bread-related violence
WHITEHORSE – Two dozen RCMP officers wearing heavy riot gear were deployed to the bakery section of the newly opened Save-On-Foods after shoppers became violent over their claims to the las…