HOLLYWOOD, CA – Walt Disney Pictures has announced their latest project, The Bear Minimum, an animated coming-of-age movie that breaks the stereotypes they spent years reinforcing because i…
Thousands of Vancouver perverts delight in taking pictures of tree genitalia
VANCOUVER – Thousands of perverts, creeps, and peeping toms have taken countless photos from different angles of tree genitalia and shared them on social media. Scourges of sexual degenerat…
Nation’s dogs just super here for everyone right now
VICTORIA, BC – Dogs across the nation report that they know you’re having a rough time lately and they’re ready to give you whatever the heck you need, okay? “Normally, my owner wakes me up with …
TSN, Sportsnet locked in fierce battle to see who can provide worse streaming service
TORONTO – Long-time competitors TSN and Sportsnet are continuing their years-long battle to see who can provide the lowest quality online streaming option for Canadians still willing to pay…
Roll up the Rim is back and so is the threat of nuclear winter!
VANCOUVER, BC – Canadians are in for a treat this week with the return of two beloved national pastimes: Tim Horton’s Roll up the Rim contest – and also worrying about the devastating outco…
Person who does not live in Ottawa sympathizes with protesters
UXBRIDGE, ON – A non-Ottawa resident is calling on police to stop the removal of Freedom Convoy protesters currently occupying downtown Ottawa. In a 500 word Facebook post, Ann Martin of Ux…
Anti-vaccine convoys replace maple syrup as Canada’s number one export
OTTAWA – For the first time since Confederation, the top spot on the list of Canadian exports has shifted from the sweet syrup of the mighty maple tree to anti-vaccine, anti-government, pro…
Feds announce new holiday for exhausted women: Emotional Labour Day
OTTAWA – Canadians celebrated their inaugural Emotional Labour Day this Tuesday, a holiday honouring the women who thanklessly drain their emotional resources for the sake of keeping the peace. A…
Winter Olympics add new event for cross-country infection
LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND – In response to growing concerns about the highly-infectious Omicron variant, the International Olympic Committee has opted to do the right thing and add a new event …
