CALGARY – Calgarians are being asked to ration water while crucial pipeline repairs are conducted, reminding the city’s older residents of the great water rationing effort of three months ago. …
With pickleball surging in popularity, we tested which paddles are also good for spanking
TORONTO – Pickleball is one of Canada’s fastest growing sports, with its estimated 1.37 million players representing a massive increase over the eight people who played when the sport was last su…
Coppertone unveils new SPF 1,000,000 sunblock that shrouds land in eternal darkness
MONTREAL – As Canadians face another scorching hot summer, Coppertone has announced a new extra-potent sunscreen line that banishes the sun back behind the hills and mountains from which it dares…
5 tips for celebrating Saskatchewan Day, New Brunswick Day, Natal Day, Briti—wait, Natal Day? What the fuck?
HALIFAX – Another August long weekend is upon us, and whether you’re a Manitoban celebrating Terry Fox Day, a Vancouverite getting ready to enjoy British Columbia Day, or a Nova Scotian ringing i…
Lucky boy in Olympic audience catches shot put
News in Photos…
Calgary’s new Scotia Place joins ranks of iconic Canadian stadiums like Scotia Centre, Rogers Place, and Scotia Centre-Place
CALGARY – Calgary has unveiled the design of its new hockey arena and event centre, Scotia Place, which will share the same sleek and contemporary look as famous arenas across Canada like Rogers …
Canada looks to break humiliating 106-year South American soccer championship drought
EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. – The Canadian men’s national soccer team plays Argentina in the Copa America semi-final tonight, as Canada looks to end its pathetic century-long title drought in South Ame…
Security experts agree new password will never love you like the old one did
TORONTO – According to a study conducted by a panel of cybersecurity experts, your new password lacks the special spark of your old one and will never bring you the same joy. “Few people get thro…
After weeks without water, Calgarians now smell like Edmontonians
CALGARY – After two weeks of restricted access to water for showers, laundry, and other acts of hygiene, sources have reported that Calgarians now smell like Edmontonians do all year long. “Jesus…
Drunk Edmontonian screaming at television pleasantly surprised to learn Oilers game is on
EDMONTON – Edmontonian Jason Porter, who’s spent another evening shouting outraged profanities at his TV amid a growing pile of Alberta Genuine Draft empties, was excited to discover an Oil…