OTTAWA – Shortly after welcoming his friend Jack from Australia into his home, local man Stephen Christie found himself unable to properly satisfy his visitors’ many questions about Quebec …
Local woman concerned Thai coup could endanger lives, upcoming vacations
GUELPH, ON – In the wake of a military coup d’etat in Thailand that has thrown the country into chaos as protesters and soldiers do battle in the streets, local woman Steffanie Bruner has a…
Rubber duck race in Fort McMurray ends in sadness
Athabasca River, Fort McMurray, Alberta – The fun community event which includes participants placing bets on numbered rubber ducks and putting them in a river with the hopes of their duck …
Ontario Liberals announce election platform of things they could have easily done before now
THUNDER BAY, ON – At a campaign stop on Sunday the provincial Liberal party announced what they would do if elected to govern Ontario for the next few years, pretty much all of which they c…
Olivia Chow Unveils Transit Plan: 5.2 Million–Seater Tandem Bike
Toronto mayoral candidate Olivia Chow has shaken up the race today by unveiling her official transit plan: a 5.2 million–seater tandem bike designed to accommodate every man, woman, and child in …
Doug Ford blames Autism Youth Home comments on Rob Ford’s alcoholism
TORONTO – After alleging that a youth home helping children cope with autism was “ruining the neighbourhood” City Councillor Doug Ford took full responsibility for his comments today, by bl…
Tories introduce ‘Three Riddles’ voting system
The Harper government has passed its controversial Noble Voters Act, which will require all potential voters to answer three riddles and “establish their virtue true” before casting a ballot. “Th…
PR worker confident latest tweet won’t get her fired
FREDERICTON, N.B. – PR worker and aspiring social media phenom Deirdre Waynes is certain that her latest tweet from the account of McMillan Holdings and Sales Ltd. will not unleash a massiv…
Results from Toronto Marathon definitive proof nice guys finish 1,376th
TORONTO – In total, 2,194 runners competed in the GoodLife Fitness Toronto Marathon over the weekend, many of whom were total assholes. But 32 year old local man, and all-around okay guy, D…
Report: Donald Sterling does literally the only thing an NBA owner can’t do
LOS ANGELES – Sources inside the NBA head office have stated that the league is furious that L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling, having allegedly been caught on tape making racist comments…
