TORONTO – As Britain’s Prince Harry prepares to wed Meghan Markle this month, a new study has found that people born in the 1980s to early 90s have a higher chance of marrying him than finding a …
Report: Andrea Horwath honestly trying her hardest
HAMILTON – As the provincial election approaches, sources indicate Ontario NDP leader Andrea Horwath is truly doing her best to win on June 7th. “Despite what it may look like, she is really doin…
York claims offer to pay half their water bill is “the best in the province”
TORONTO – York University is defending their proposal to pay just 50% of their outstanding water bill to the city of Toronto, calling it “the best offer in the province”. York, which consumes ove…
Ford blasts Wynne’s SickKids funding: “we shouldn’t reward kids for being sick”
QUEEN’S PARK – Following Premier Kathleen Wynne’s announcement that The Hospital for Sick Children will receive 2.4 billion dollars in additional funding this year, Ontario PC leader Doug F…
Government announces plans to make ‘O Canada’ deity neutral
OTTAWA – Following recent changes to make the national anthem gender neutral, the Liberal government is taking things one step further by also making the anthem applicable to a variety of gods. T…
Trudeau invests in Confederate Soldier’s uniform for next visit to White House
OTTAWA – After being photographed in a traditional sherwani on his trip to India, Justin Trudeau is committing to dressing for his surroundings by purchasing an authentic Confederate soldier’s un…
White friend slightly too excited about Black Panther
TORONTO – Local white friend Connor Allen is reportedly just a little too hyped for Marvel’s latest blockbuster, the studio’s first to feature a person of colour in the starring role. “I haven’t …
Breaking: TTC Presto gate worked one time
TORONTO – Sources report that on Saturday morning a Presto gate at the TTC’s Ossington station worked one time, allowing a single passenger to pay their fare and enter the subway system. “I could…
John Tory steps up Toronto’s Amazon bid by becoming the first person to watch all of Mozart in the Jungle
TORONTO – Amidst reports that Ontario’s capital has been selected as one of the top 20 locations for Amazon’s new headquarters, mayor John Tory has proven there’s nothing he won’t do for his city…
Dermatologists recommend preventing dry winter skin by just peeling it all off yourself
OTTAWA – The Canadian Dermatology Association has released its guidelines for winter skin care, suggesting Canadians stay hydrated, moisturize daily, and if that doesn’t work, just peel your skin…