Earlier this week, CalTech researchers proudly unveiled a new AI program that after years of careful design, development and updates, spoke its first words as a self-aware being… telling the asse…
Conservative pundit decries rising divorce rate in his house
OTTAWA – Right wing pundit and columnist Hank Vrinden has entered into the increasingly heated conversation among conservative activists and commentators about the breakdown of traditional …
Mortgage crisis may be imminent warns guy with house
OTTAWA – With no end in sight to historically high interest rates and almost half of Canadians set to renegotiate their mortgages in the next sixteen months, a massive crisis is becoming more and…
MDMA pharmaceutical trial shut down for being too fucking fun
TORONTO – Ontario Health has halted a recent MDMA pharmaceutical trial out of concerns that the therapeutic impacts patients were experiencing was at this time considered too utterly amazeb…
Report: One in 20 people are sociopaths and all of them play music directly from their phone speakers in public settings
OTTAWA – In the wake of findings that have stunned the psychiatric community, researchers are now reporting that over one in 20 people are sociopaths, and that every single one of them play…
Childless Millennial couple announces plans to get really into Halloween this year
BARRIE, ON – Tyler and Sarah Kergin, a happily childless local couple, has always enjoyed Halloween. But yesterday they told reporters that they plan to “pull out like ALL the stops” this O…
EDITORIAL: Why I’m not letting my kids use social media except the YouTube channel they star in that pays our mortgage
By Ashley Drin Today’s children are under more scrutiny than ever, thanks to the toxic forces of social media. The endless, crushing pressure to expose their most vulnerable moments, private thou…
Report: Mom not too keen on Charles
CHARLOTTETOWN, PEI – After many months of public uncertainty, sources have confirmed that Mom really could do with a lot less of Charles today, you know? “It’s been long-established that Mo…
5 Ways to celebrate International Women’s Day that aren’t having bodily autonomy
Treat yourself to a walk outside Spring has sprung, and getting outside is great for your mental health, and in most places you can still do it without someone stopping you to demand your last me…
John Tory’s career inevitably cut short by his raw, unstoppable sexual magnetism
TORONTO – In the wake of Toronto Mayor John Tory’s shocking announcement that he will be stepping down after admitting he had an affair with a staffer earlier this year, residents across th…
