Leduc, AB – Fans and critics alike have offered praise for the new HBO series ‘The Last of Us’, saying the show gives a terrifying glimpse into a dystopian, post-apocalyptic future where th…
Hospitals to fight critical staffing shortage by declaring that all PhDs are “that kind of doctor” now
OTTAWA – In an effort to combat the national doctor shortage crippling many provincial healthcare systems, hospitals across Canada have declared that all PhD holders, regardless of field, a…
Doug Ford announces 50% of all Ontario surgeries will now be done by his buddy Steve
TORONTO – In an effort to reduce wait times for surgeries in the province of Ontario, Premier Doug Ford has announced that as many as half of all surgeries will now be handled by his good b…
Galen Weston says to Canadians who can’t afford bread, “Let them eat McCain’s Deep N Delicious Frozen Cake”
Caledon, Ontario – With a growing number of Canadians facing food insecurity in the face of rising prices, Loblaws CEO Galen Weston Jr. recently informed the nation that if Canadians can no…
Where are they now: “Don’t you put it in your mouth” puppet checks into rehab
VANCOUVER – Representatives for the female Sister Puppet from the popular 1992 Concerned Children’s Advertisers PSA “Don’t you put it in your mouth” have confirmed that the puppet has check…
Nova Scotia Premier Tim Houston insists healthcare system is in great shape as long as you don’t need healthcare
HALIFAX – In a press conference Wednesday, Nova Scotia Premier Tim Houston insisted that reports of Nova Scotia’s crumbling healthcare system have been overblown, and that the province’s he…
Ocean bird choking on plastic straw still agrees paper straws are the worst
VANCOUVER – In a rare interview, a sea bird floating off the pacific coast of British Columbia has confirmed that, although it is currently struggling to breathe around plastic straw wedged…
Conservatives oppose NDP-Liberal Dental Care Plan with proposed “fuck you, let ‘em rot” plan
OTTAWA – In an unsurprising move, the Conservative Party of Canada have opposed a potential NDP-Liberal universal dental care plan, and instead proposing their own “fuck you, let ‘em rot” p…
Millennial in six-figure debt for education dreams of someday being in six-figure debt for house
HAMILTON – Local 31-year-old Madison Clair, a newly licensed veterinarian who currently owes a combined total of $118,846 in federal and provincial student loans, reports that her greatest …
“We’re all going to get COVID eventually,” says man about to give you HPV
BRIDGEWATER – There’s no point trying to prevent COVID because we’re all just going to get it eventually, says a man who is perhaps only a few hours away from infecting you with human papil…