GUELPH – Early today Gary and Marsha Suffolk were struck with the realization that the only time they truly spend together any more is during the panicked apartment cleanup they perform about an hour before visitors come by their place.
“Most days we’re just ships passing in the night,” Gary agreed, “but when we get that ball-clenching fear that Mike and Eileen will see how we really live, we truly become one soul.”
Able to communicate complex cleaning strategies with a mere look, Gary typically takes care of all the vacuuming while Marsha finds hiding spots for the laundry that covers their bedroom floor. Their teamwork in cleaning, drying and sometimes hiding the dirty dishes they have let pile in the sink for works is the stuff of legend. Video footage even confirmed that Gary is able to catch a bottle of Windex behind his back thrown the entire length of their condo hallway by Marsha.
“When we have company coming over and we scramble to prevent anyone from seeing the nightmare mess that is our lives, that’s when we really connect,” reported Marsha. “Frankly the only thing close is when we bond by mocking the life choices, social media posts and children of our friends and loved ones.”
“I never feel more in love with Marsha than when we both remember that there’s still a ring around the toilet when the doorbell rings,” Gary continued.
Visitors to the Suffolk residence agree that Gary and Marsha have a glow about them when they first set foot through the door to their place. Comparisons between photos taken of the couple at a recent dinner party they hosted and photos of their wedding day show astonishing similarities.
“Creating the illusion that we have our lives together for the purpose of impressing our friends is the glue that keeps us together,” Marsha said, holding Gary’s hand, “In July we’re throwing a 10 year anniversary party at our place and have invited all our friends and family!”
“We’re not gonna clean a thing until two hours before the event. It’s going to be amazing!” Gary continued, with a wink.
At press time the couple had confirmed that their favourite time to make love is the moment immediately after the last guest leaves.
