Ever since polls were released showing Canadians overwhelmingly reject Donald Trump’s proposal to become the 51st state by 77-15%, the question everyone has been asking is: who the fuck are these 15% and what is wrong with them.
Well look no further because we found one. Ron Jablonsky of Stoufville is 42, married, a step-father (or as he puts it: the father who stepped up) and a CPA working for a large distribution company. He is also just the fucking worst.
“Why should I stay loyal to a country that wasn’t loyal to me when I dared to not conform to the draconian restrictions they placed on me during COVID,” said this Prick, still talking about the relatively mild social distancing restrictions governments (mostly provincial) put in place 4-5 years ago to help the country survive the worst virus outbreak since the Spanish Flu.
“I’m actually the real patriot here. Because I’m trying to rescue my people from the corrupt, authoritarian Trudeau/Carney government, and get them to a country that’s all about freedom. Freedom to worship. Freedom to carry. Freedom to celebrate the murder of a healthcare C.E.O. because it seems like a small bit of justice in an inhumane society that allows the poor and vulnerable to die in the name of profit.”
The dumb motherfucker then proceeded to list all the ways Americans had more freedom than Canadians, which nearly all revolved around the idea that Canada had gone woke, and “you can’t even call people gay as a joke anymore!”
Jablonsky is a member of an online group called ‘Canadians For The 51st State’. Membership is comprised of numerous accomplished traitors, quislings, turncoats, scumbags, douchebags, kiss-assess, Peterson fanboys and general fuck nuts. The group has been active on social media, where their claims to speak for a majority of Canadians on this issue regularly receive nearly a dozen likes and shares.
Advised that he was free to leave Canada and emigrate to the United States if he liked it better there so much Jablonsky advised that he couldn’t as he still has an outstanding warrant from his spring break trip to Daytona back in 1999.
