WINNIPEG — After failing to make it out of the hotel room on a recent trip to Honolulu, insurance broker Dave Watt’s paisley button up shirt says it’s just happy to be part of the vacation wardrobe.
“I have nothing but respect for all the clothes in that suitcase,” said the shirt in a post-trip press conference. “Even though I didn’t get to go out there and do my thing, I’m still proud to have been along for the ride.”
The shirt, which was acquired in 2016 as part of a buy-one-get-one-free deal at Winners, also went unworn on trips to Halifax, Chicago and Rome. But despite this string of misses, its fellow garments believe it still has a lot to offer.
“Role players like paisley are important to have around, especially on the road,” said Watt’s khaki shorts, which made four consecutive appearances on the Hawaii trip. “Obviously they don’t get as much play as first-stringers like blue jeans or Oxford button-up, but when the big guy needs something that’s a slightly dressy and also has a fun, retro vibe, paisley’s the only choice.”
Asked if it was concerned about being left home in the future, or worse, forced to retire to the crawlspace, the paisley shirt didn’t seem fazed.
“I know I’ve got a specific skill set, and putting me on is not always the right call, but I’m feeling confident about the future. They say fashion trends repeat every 20 years, so I’m due for a comeback. And when the day comes, I’ll be ready.”
Rumors are circulating that Watt’s next vacation will be an Alaskan cruise with a “Swinging ‘60s night,” which closet insiders believe could very well be the paisley shirt’s time to shine.
