OTTAWA – After their brief attempts to actually enforce the law with respect to the protestors occupying the nation’s capital did not immediately work, Ottawa Police are pivoting to a new approach called unconditional surrender.
“We tried. Kinda. A bit,” said police chief Peter Sloly. “But it was hard. But then we thought of a new approach: waving a white flag, fully surrendering and just letting the truckers own the city. That’ll show ’em.”
“Maybe once they see how hard it is to run the city they’ll get tired and leave,” he added.
The ‘White Flag’ strategy is just the latest move by Ottawa Police trying to control the protests. They’ve previously tried not blocking off roads, closing their eyes and hoping they go away, taking selfies with anyone who asked, announcing jerry cans will not allowed and then allowing them and asking the government to meet with a group openly calling for the violent overthrow of the government.
“If this doesn’t work we may have to fall back on the last thing any police officer wants to do: using force,” said Sloly.
In related news Ontario Premier Doug Ford has credited Ontarians’ already low opinions of him for their choice to give him a pass on this.
