LOS ANGELES – Superhero film fans are ecstatic at the news that Chris Evans is negotiating with Marvel to return to the role that made him an A-list celebrity and household name: Johnny Storm AKA The Human Torch from 2005’s The Fantastic Four.
“We just can’t wait to see Chris back in the well-known blue unitard of his breakout role as The Human Torch,” said one source at Marvel Studios. “While we think he was absolutely fine as Captain America, with the fighting Nazis and the ‘I can do this all day’ indominable spirit of a good man just trying to figure out how to do right in a complex world while being tragically unmoored in time, we know what audiences are really clambering for right now is a brash, extreme sports playing hunk who definitely didn’t make it through the MeToo movement completely unscathed.”
While The Fantastic Four and its sequel Fantastic Four 2: The Silver Surfer Deserved So Much Better Than This have been largely forgotten in the avalanche of comic book movies that have come out since the mid-2000s, Marvel is reportedly very excited at the prospect of bringing back the character of Johnny Storm now that Evans is older, more distinguished, and one of the top three Chrises in the world.
“This will probably be a solo outing for Evans, as right now it’s not looking like we’ll be able to bring back many other characters from The Fantastic Four film franchise,” said our source at Marvel Studios. “We did reach out to all the other actors involved, including Michael Chiklis, Kerry Washington, and Laurence Fishburne, and they all said if we ever again brought up the fact that they were in these movies, they’d sue us for defamation and then hunt us down and hurt us, physically.”
“So, talks are ongoing.”
At press time, Chris Evans had cryptically responded to the widespread rumours of his return to the role of Johnny Storm by tweeting “Are you fucking kidding me?”