BY THAT GUY ON THE BUS
Hey there!
Hi?
Hello?
Oh, sorry, totally didn’t see the book and headphones! Hope I’m not bothering you. How are you today? Where are you headed? Oh, the university? Sounds smart!
Look, I don’t normally do this, but I saw you from across the bus and was just wondering- I could have sworn I’ve seen you around Instagram! It’s sexydolphin24, right? No? sexyporpoise? sexysquid? Come on, help a guy out, I know it involved the ocean. Alright, keep your secrets, it’ll come to me eventually.
You really like that book, huh? “Governmental Management Strategies”. Looks serious, haha.
Anyway, I’m Tyler. I think I followed you a month ago. You never followed me back- that’s cool though, I totally get why a girl like you wouldn’t follow just anyone. It’s why I “slid into your DMs” a couple times too, as the kids say.
Oh, you never saw my messages? That’s okay, don’t feel bad, we’re here now and that’s all that matters. Can I sit with you? Oops, too late, I’m already down; gravity: 1, you: 0. Gotta work on those reflexes!
Man, I’m super impressed you can read and have a conversation at the same time! You multitasker, you.
Hey, I’m sure you hear this all the time, but your pictures are amazing. I liked all of them, don’t know if you remember. The one of you on the beach in Bali? You know, where you look like a supermodel on her day off? Nah, don’t be shy, you totally do.
What? You have a boyfriend? Weird, you never mention him in your stories. Hey, look, don’t worry. I’m a good guy, not one of those creeps, I swear. Gotta watch out for those ones, right?
What singer are you listening to?
HELLO?
Sorry- I said, what singer are you listening to? Who? Never heard of her.
Anyway, I was actually just wondering if you’d wanna grab a drink sometime- oh, it’s your stop? But we’re still fifteen minutes from the university.
Cool, I like walking in the pouring rain too. It’s like that scene from my favourite movie, Sin City. Want some company? No? Okay, well, nice to finally meet you in person- remember to follow me back this time!
Wow, she’s so fast! You’d think running in heels would slow her down, but look at her go!
…Ah, shit, it was sexyseacucumber. I KNEW it.
That went so well.
