TORONTO – At a press conference held at Kennedy Station, TTC CEO Andy Byford announced a bold new strategy to improve weekend subway service by using actual trains instead of buses.
“This is the kind of amazing out-of-the-box thinking that makes our city so great”, proclaimed Byford.
The decision comes after a lengthy and expensive study commissioned by the TTC. Using complex algorithms and large data sets it was determined that the city’s giant tunnel system was perfect for the use of trains, even on weekends.
However, not everyone is excited about this new proposal and many riders do not want to change the current system of constant weekend subway closures.
“I just love the surprise of getting to the station and finding out that I have to take a bus from Greenwood to Runnymede”, said Josh Henderson, a TTC rider who’s never once been on time to his Sunday morning Starbucks shift. “To be honest I think it’s unnatural to use subterranean rail on the Lord’s Day. ”
Byford assured the public that the TTC exhausted every option available before making this decision, “We spent months going through alternatives like moving the Bloor and Yonge line east of the DVP or giving everyone rollerblades and though that would solve many problems, these solutions were far too expensive.”
The announcement is just the first step as the city will have to wait for the weekend subway trains to be built by Bombardier.
In the meantime an exploratory rollout of weekend trains is planned to start running between most of the length of Bay Station before riders are forced to switch to their beloved shuttle buses.
“I for one can’t wait to ride the first ever weekend subway with all my fellow Torontonians.” remarked Mayor John Tory. “It’ll be a great publicity opportunity that I assure you I will never be caught dead doing again.”
Byford closed his press conference by mentioning other revolutionary ideas in the works such as expanding the use of Presto cards and redoing the St. Clair streetcar line just for fun.
