TORONTO – After a disappointing loss against the Cleveland Indians, this afternoon the Toronto Blue Jays capped off their post-season with a modest pizza party in the basement of the Rogers Centre, complete with chips, dip and a variety pack of sweet, carbonated beverages from Costco.
“We did our best, and that’s what counts,” said Manager John Gibbons. “It’s really important to teach the team that winning isn’t everything, that’s why we kept the score a secret and told them we tied.”
The party included several professional athlete friendly activities like face-painting, balloon animals and a magician Jays staff found in the phone book.
“I had so much fun this year,” said Jays catcher Russ Martin. “But it was hard for us to hit the ball after coach took away the tee.”
But not everyone was happy with the way the season ended.
“This is stupid. I wanna go home,” said outfielder Jose Bautista after realizing there wasn’t any Hawaiian pizza left. “I’m gonna go play for the Yankees.”
At press time, Josh Donaldson’s mother said he couldn’t have any caffeine citing that he’ll stay up all night.