Ottawa – In a fundraising email sent over the weekend, Liberal Party revenue officer Stephen Bronfman promised every donor who contributed over $1000.00 a lengthy and sensual one on one meeting with the handsome Liberal leader.
“This opportunity is perfect for those who want to show their support for the party, and get to know Justin well,” the email read. “Like, really, really well.”
“We guarantee that your support will stop Stephen Harper’s radical agenda, and that for one night Justin will devote all his time and energy to your every need,” Bronfman added.
The opportunity, which is open to “individuals, couples, whatever,” also includes champagne, Liberal Party themed chocolate covered strawberries, and a box of KY intimates for him and her (or him and him).
Justin advised in a follow up email that he was excited to get out there and meet his party’s supporters.
“I can’t wait to get out of these campaign suits, and settle into a nice silk robe while we lie by my fireplace,” said the PM in waiting. “Just to be clear, there is no kissing, but for $200.00 extra I will let you do stuff to my hair.”
At press time, Stephen Harper’s offer to rub down in oil and get “greasy” with anyone who donated 50 bucks still had no takers.
