TORONTO – Walking back his comments from several months ago that young Ontarians are responsible for rising COVID case counts, Premier Doug Ford clarified that it’s not all young peop…
Tag: vaccine
Top 10 medical exemptions granted to unvaccinated Conservative MPs
Canada’s Parliament resumed yesterday, and Erin O’Toole has announced that multiple Conservative MPs received medical exemptions to the requirement that everyone be vaccinated to ente…
COVID booster shots approved for all sheeple and government simps over 18
OTTAWA – A third booster shot of the COVID-19 vaccine has been approved by Health Canada for use on all sheeple and government simps over the age of 18. “At this time the booster is recomme…
Sniffling anti-vaxxers finally relent after being offered a lollipop
CANADA ― In an unforeseen turn of events, anti-vaxxers across Canada suddenly announced their willingness to take a Covid shot today, after realizing that lollipops would be available afterward. …
“I’m not going to get vaccinated just to comply with arbitrary public safety rules,” says cop who makes living writing speeding tickets
TORONTO – As the deadline looms for Toronto police to get vaccinated or be put on unpaid leave, many officers who spend their days writing speeding tickets are refusing to get “an unn…
As vaccines for kids ages 5-11 develop further, you might have to see your douchebag nephew Kyle as soon as this year
OTTAWA – Pfizer and BioNTech have released preliminary data to Health Canada stating that a vaccine for children ages 5 to 11 years could be available sooner than originally thought. Side e…
FDA tells American horses to stop taking COVID vaccinations for worm infestations
Silver Spring, MD – The United States Food and Drug Administration has asked American horses to stop taking COVID vaccines to treat their worm infestations. “There is no evidence that COVID…
Protesters outside of hospital apparently unaware of where laws are made
CALGARY – According to eyewitnesses, a group of anti-vaccine mandate protestors outside of the Foothills Medical Centre appear thoroughly confused as to where or even how Canada passes laws…
B.C. man worried about how his shoulder will look in vaccine passport photo
VICTORIA – With British Columbians now able to sign up for vaccine passports, local paralegal Craig Sherman is worried about how his shoulder will look in its passport photo. Sherman, who briefly…
Conspiracy confirmed: doctors made “vaccine deal” with government in order to save your life
OTTAWA – A conspiracy theory surrounding a secret vaccine oath between Canadian doctors and the government has been confirmed, revealing medical professionals are pushing vaccinations in or…