CALGARY – In an effort to clear his conscience before he expires, terminally ill uncle of four Michael Grosberg has admitted to his family that the monster pike he claims to have caught in …
Tag: Uncle
Uncle launches full-scale investigation into where vegan nephew gets their protein
Peterborough, ON – Local uncle Jim Layton has begun a wide-ranging investigation after his nephew, Skylar Layton, has revealed he has been a vegan for two years yet is still able to live. “…
Panicked uncle handles sleeping baby like old-timey crate of nitroglycerin
Woodstock, NB – Local uncle Grant Newsten, 32, has been reported by witnesses to be handling his newborn niece, Amelia Newsten, as if she is a rickety and highly explosive crate of long-aba…
STUDY: Uncle still believes thing you liked when you were 3 represents your whole personality
DRUMMONDVILLE, QC – According to a detailed study of birthday cards received and samples of holiday dinner smalltalk, analysts are reporting that your uncle Victor has not made any updates …
Local uncle unsure how long he can keep up charade of knowing what Fortnite is
LETHBRIDGE, AB — Local uncle Brad Reynolds, 36, is uncertain how long he can maintain the fiction that he understands who or what Fortnite is, to his nephew Tyler, 7, and niece Emily, 11. S…
Mum just called to say hi, tell you Uncle Jay died
WINNIPEG — What appeared to be a routine catch-up call took a dark turn when your mother, Moya Fitzpatrick, 65, casually informed you that your uncle Jason had passed away. “She didn’t even…
Local man judged old enough for parents’ friends to swear around
EDMONTON—Local man Tim Creyer, 27, has reportedly been judged by his parents’ friends to have reached an age old enough for him to hear and participate in conversations using adult language “I wa…
QUIZ: Which elderly relative are you giving tech support to?
As the population ages and technology advances, it is becoming more and more likely that you’re currently walking an aged loved one through the basics of how to connect to WiFi or get Netflix on …
Thrifty women organize swap meet to trade unwanted male advice
MONTREAL – Dozens of thrifty women gathered for a swap meet this afternoon, to trade garbage bags full of unwanted male advice each had accumulated over the years. The women met early at a …
Uncle just calling to say ‘how’s it going’, ‘9/11 was an inside job’
MARMORA, ON – After not having seen the family since Christmas, Uncle Dave has decided to just call and see what’s up, as well as remind you that he thinks 9/11 was perpetrated by the U.S. …