VANCOUVER – Local genius and free thinker Andy Hammond is amped to spend the next several weeks reminding his American friends and relatives that the holiday they are about to celebrate in …
Tag: Turkey
Report: Preparing Christmas turkey closest thing dad has had to sex in years
ST. JOHNS, NF- Local father of 3 Jake O’Leary confirmed speculation that getting the turkey ready for Christmas dinner is by far the most arousing activity he has done in roughly seven years. “It…
Kidnappers arrested for taking the girl out of the country, but not the country out of the girl
TORONTO – Yesterday afternoon, David Watts and Reggie Gormley were arrested and jailed after abducting 25-year-old Kaylyn Wilkins from her farm the night before and bringing her into the city. Th…
Pardoned turkey revealed to have ties to Trump Campaign, Russia
WASHINGTON DC — As president Donald Trump observes the White House Thanksgiving tradition of pardoning a turkey, investigators have revealed that the poultry will also be pardoned for helpi…
Breaking: Sleeping man unaware of oncoming traffic
VANCOUVER – On his drive from West Van to Burnaby, experienced commuter Richard Blair has fallen into a deep sleep and is completely oblivious of several rapidly approaching vehicles. “Holy…
EDITORIAL: Just a heads up that Tommy is bringing a Chinese girl to Thanksgiving this year – by Aunt Pam
Hi all, it’s your Aunt Pam writing with the annual Thanksgiving instruction e-mail. I have some important news to tell everyone so please read this carefully. I just got off the phone with Nancy …
Russia-Turkey missile-for-warplane trade deal goes horribly wrong
ANKARA — A military equipment trade deal between Russia and Turkey ended in tragedy after Turkey delivered several air-to-air missiles directly to a Russian warplane causing a sudden explos…
Turkish President commemorates 100 years since absolutely nothing happened
ANKARA – President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan called a press conference yesterday to once again draw attention to how very little happened 100 years ago. “Nothing happened, not to the Armenians n…