HALIBURTON, ON – With the body count of attractive teenage victims rising, local summer camp proprietor, Mel Heinman, 57, told reporters yesterday he really hopes all these unexplained axe-…
Tag: teen
Equality win: A&W introduces Female Cousin Burger into male-dominated Burger family
NORTH VANCOUVER – Scoring an important victory for all women, A&W has announced a new addition to its menu aimed at narrowing the gender gap within their trademark Burger family. The al…
Riverdale Recap: I stopped watching but here’s what I’m pretty sure is happening
As an avid reader of Archie comics, when The CW announced that they were making a film-noir, sexy teen version of the show, I was waiting with breath that was baited. As the first season came to …
Local family celebrates daughter’s first training bra with ceremonial distancing of father
ST. CATHARINES, ON. – In a tradition dating back centuries, a local family’s youngest daughter, Dana Black, has been gifted her first training bra, a moment which is immediately followed by…
“I know exactly how to fix America” claims teenager who just watched Fight Club for the first time
COCHRANE, AB – Local teen Ryan Killicky claims that he has the answer of how to fix the massive social and political turmoil occurring within the United States, and that the solution lies w…
Mr. Dickerson deeply regrets letting that first student call him ‘The Dick’
WHATELY, AB – In a failed attempt to build a casual, respectful rapport with his students, newly hired grade 8 teacher, Mark Dickerson, regrets allowing that one kid in his class to nicknam…