LOS ANGELES – Chemist/Toy Inventor George Earnshaw, the inventor of the children’s toy Slime, has been sentenced to 34 consecutive life sentences for ruining countless lives and rugs around…
Tag: Prison
Jailed Ottawa protestors offer to co-run prison with warden
OTTAWA, ON – Several arrested protestors from the downtown occupation have offered to co-run the prison where they are being held. The prisoners have released a “Declaration of Understandin…
Local prisoner practices social distancing by escaping
Bath, ON – In an effort to prevent the spread of the COVID-19 virus, prison inmate Geoff Rogers has taken necessary measures to distance himself from others by escaping from the Millhaven I…
Local badass only washes hands for 15 seconds
VANCOUVER – Resident troublemaker James Bryant rocked the health-and-hygiene world yesterday when he announced he had been washing his hands for only 15 seconds at a time, a full 5 seconds …
Virus enters man without consent
RIKERS ISLAND, NY – Jailed rapist Harvey Weinstein has claimed that the novel coronavirus that causes COVID-19 has penetrated his body without his consent. Tests have confirmed the presence…
Elizabeth May shivs biggest, meanest guy in holding cell
BURNABY, B.C. – Emergency crews have been called to the Burnaby RCMP station amid scattered reports that Green Party leader Elizabeth May has shivved the biggest guy in lock-up following her arre…
Prison & Politics: Episode 5
The great prison hooch debate continues.…
Prison & Politics: Episode 4
High time for prison electoral reform?…
I’m starting to think I might not do great in prison – by Jared Kushner
You know, there’s something about being investigated by the FBI for attempting to set up a dubious back-channel to the Kremlin that just gets a guy thinking. People are using words like “es…
Prison & Politics: Episode 2
Is it time to raise the prison minimum wage to 15 cents an hour?…