WASHINGTON DC — In a move that has shocked employees around the world, Joe Biden announced today that he would be stepping out of the presidential race, making it the first time in recorded histo…
Tag: president
BREAKING: Donald Trump announces whatever it takes to get on TV again
PALM BEACH, FL – In a late-breaking address live from his Mar-A-Lago beach resort, former President Donald Trump has announced that he is willing to say or do absolutely anything whatsoever…
Local man wishes there was more he could do about Roe v. Wade
WILMINGTON, DELAWARE ― With the ramifications of the reversal of Roe v. Wade beginning to ripple across the country, pro-choice Americans are seeking out ways of helping maintain access to aborti…
Nation shocked after Biden able to undo all four hours of work Trump did as President
Washington, D.C. – Americans are flabbergasted after President Biden within only two weeks was able to undo all four hours of work Trump completed while in office. “I thought it would take …
Energized Trump scrambling to fit in as much treason as possible before term ends
Washington D.C. – The White House has witnessed a whirlwind of activity since the election as outgoing president Donald Trump is determined to commit as much treason as he can during his sh…
Trump suggests delaying election until everyone dead
WASHINGTON D.C. – Citing issues with voting by mail, U.S. President Donald Trump suggested a delay to November’s presidential election to just after disease and destruction consumes h…
Trump clarifies that massive Chinese tariffs will not include racist T-shirts
WASHINGTON, DC – Following his controversial $200 billion tariffs on Chinese imports, President Trump clarified this week that the tariffs would not apply to racially insensitive clothing. “Many …
7 US Presidents throughout history and the Nintendo characters their penises resemble
Following Stormy Daniels’ description of President Trump’s penis as looking like the mushroom shaped Toad in her new book, Full Disclosure, historians are reminding the public of the varying arra…
Trump proposes merit based immigration system rating potential citizens from “1” to “fuckable”
WASHINGTON, D.C – The Trump Administration has proposed a new merit-based immigration system that will award points to applicants. The system is modelled off the merit based systems used in…
Trump excited to welcome ‘Canada Pence’ to White House
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a surprise revelation, Donald Trump announced that he is looking forward to meeting a former Canadian Prime Minister, which he repeatedly referred to as “Canada Pence”. “Tre…