MONTREAL – Local Habs fan Jeff Donoghue says he needs just a few more training sessions before he is in mid-season trash talking shape. “Other off-seasons I’ve kind of let my ga…
Tag: NHL
Lightning devastated to learn Refs can work against them too
Tampa Bay, FL – In the wake of Nazem Kadri’s game winning goal for the Avalanche in Game 4 of the Stanley Cup finals being allowed despite the Avs having too many men on the ice, Tamp…
Report: Team that lost in 7 to Stanley Cup finalist must be blown up, team that lost in 4 to other finalist in great shape
DENVER – As the Stanley Cup Finals kicks off in Denver hockey experts agree that the Edmonton Oilers, who were swept by the finalist Avs, are ready to make a great run next year while the T…
Gary Bettman unveils route for this year’s ‘No Canadian Team Won The Cup’ victory parade
NEW YORK CITY – Smiling widely, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman showed reporters where the victory parade would be for his annual celebration of denying Canadian teams a Stanley Cup once agai…
Flames head coach starting to think team should cover this McDavid guy
EDMONTON – Ahead of Game 4 Calgary Flames head coach Darryl Sutter unveiled a secret plan to actually play defense against Oilers forward Connor McDavid. “Our strategy of just letting…
Raising your kids to be Leafs fans classified as child abuse
TORONTO – Child Services has announced that, going forward, they will deem any parent encouraging their young children to be fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs to be negligent, abusive and bor…
Local man’s emotional well being still entirely dependent on sport controlled by these idiots
TORONTO – Local man Geoff Mclaughlin has confirmed that, at the age of 35, his entire emotional state still rides on the results of a game whose outcome is often left entirely in control of…
Poll: Majority of Canadians favour making sports betting illegal again just to get rid of the fucking ads
OTTAWA – A new poll by Angus Reid has confirmed that the vast majority of Canadians would favour de-legalizing sports betting if it means the incessant ads would finally stop. “When t…
Local man confused that knowing all the stats for the 1997 Buffalo Sabres hasn’t opened more doors
ST. CATHARINES, ON – Local man Devon Rettinger recently expressed bewilderment that his thorough knowledge of the statistics of the Buffalo Sabres in their 1996-1997 season hasn’t led to mo…
NHL refs congratulate NBA counterpart for screwing over Toronto team “even better than we do”
TORONTO – In the wake of the Toronto Raptors second straight loss to the Philadelphia 76ers the NHL referees association has congratulated NBA officiating for screwing over the Toronto base…
