OTTAWA – In the wake of this week’s trillion dollar crypto-market meltdown, Conservative leadership candidate Pierre Poilievre has vowed to find an even riskier and more fraud-prone investm…
Tag: money
BREAKING: This man can explain why he invested in NFTs but not what an NFT is
TORONTO – Scientists in Toronto have made a startling discovery this week: local man Josh Clybourne is able to justify at length why he invested in NFTs, but seems physically incapable of d…
Local media outlet running out of privileged people who’ve made the most of COVID to interview
YOUR TOWN ― After featuring dozens of stories about those who moved to their cottage, started a lucrative TikTok channel, or otherwise benefited from a deadly disease, your local newspaper is dea…
Rain streaming off mansions onto millennials’ heads cited as proof trickle-down effect works
TORONTO, ON ― Multi-property owners, real-estate agents, and proponents of supply-side economics are praising the GTA housing market’s trickle-down success, whereby any water not filling their in…
Billionaire killed after accidentally trying to withdraw his money from the caimans
FLORIDA — Tragedy struck this week after famous billionaire Harold Yates was found mauled to death in a swamp. Investigations into his death revealed that the 85-year-old oil tycoon had died afte…
New retirement plan will simply vaporize millennials when they turn 65
TORONTO- To combat the rapidly shrinking amount of jobs that have pensions, alongside wage stagnation and high housing costs that make retirement saving impossible for the majority of young worke…
CRA abandons audit of ultra wealthy Canadians because they can’t count that high
OTTAWA – Reports from the Canada Revenue Agency shows its recent efforts to hinder tax evasion by the ultra rich had to be abandoned because the auditors couldn’t count as high as the amoun…
Man daydreams of being rich person’s dog for 5th time today
TORONTO – Local man, Andrew Tan, has spent a lot of time lately thinking how great it would be to be a rich person’s dog instead of a human male forced to make his life fulfilling. “I’ve be…