MARCH 18TH UPDATE: Buckingham Palace has re-confirmed reports made last week, saying that not only does Kate Middleton have three hands which she has always had, but that King Charles the Third, …
Tag: Kate Middleton
Buckingham Palace struggling to enforce Return to Office policy
LONDON – Staffers at Buckingham Palace are frustrated that the Royal Family will not comply with orders to return to on-site work. “I know that we all got used to working remotely during lo…
Royal Family stands by photos, insists Kate Middleton has always had 3 hands
LONDON – In the wake of releasing a photo of Kate Middleton that many have accused of being photoshopped, Kensington Palace officials insist that picture is both recent and real, and that t…
Royal Baby to teach Master Class on being Royal Baby
LONDON – Master Class, the online education platform featuring celebrity instructors like Serena Williams and Martin Scorsese, has made history by signing a contract with the fetus inside K…
PARENTING FAIL: Prince George is NOT getting enough blood to grow up a conqueror
Just because they seem like the perfect couple, doesn’t mean Prince William and Kate Middleton are perfect parents. Case in point? 3-year-old Prince George drinks barely a gallon of blood every w…
Royal Couple given traditional Vancouver gift of artisanal fentanyl
VANCOUVER – At the conclusion of William and Kate’s official state visit to the city, Mayor Gregor Robertson had the honour of presenting them with a symbolic present representing the sacre…
Kate Middleton immediately pregnant again
LONDON – Fans of the Royal Family across the Commonwealth rejoiced this afternoon as Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, announced she was once again pregnant, just hours after the birth …
William and Kate confirm: ‘we just can’t stop boning’
LONDON – With the news of a second baby on the way, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have confirmed they both “really like boning.” “We are very pleased to announce that our co…
Kate Middleton gives birth to beautiful, healthy news story
LONDON – The Duchess of Cambridge gave birth today to a beautiful 8 lb international news sensation after a lengthy labour. Middleton gave birth to the story, which will be broadcast around…
Kate Middleton politely declines Kim Kardashian’s invitation to do pre-natal yoga together
BUCKINGHAM PALACE – The expectant Duchess of Cambridge has politely declined an offer from reality television star Kim Kardashian to accompany her to a pre-natal yoga class. The noted celebrity r…