BOSTON – After explicitly praising Donald Trump’s support of their team and even hoping they can “win for him” U.S. hockey players discovered what Ted Cruz and numerous ot…
Tag: hockey
Canada annexes 4 Nations Championship
BOSTON, MA – The Canadian men’s hockey team has successfully seized the 4 Nations hockey championship from their American opponents, completing their annexation of the trophy nearly halfway throu…
Canadian hockey fans prepare to call the 4 Nations Face-Off a brilliant idea or some made-up bullshit depending on whether we win
MONTREAL – As Team Canada gets set to play its first game in the inaugural 4 Nations Face-Off, fans across the country are ready to either celebrate a generation-defining victory or dismiss a tot…
Leafs revamp power play by adding second pointless drop pass before entering zone
TORONTO – With their power play struggling worse than ever, Toronto Maple Leafs power play coach Marc Savard has introduced a new wrinkle that he’s confident will get the team over th…
Leafs confident they’ll keep winning as long as they get the best goaltending in the league every single night
TORONTO – As they continue to win games despite being completely unable to score goals, the Toronto Maple Leafs players and coaches expressed confidence that their success will continue as …
Fans not falling for Oilers ‘maybe we suck’ bullshit this year
EDMONTON – NHL fans have made it clear that the Oilers starting the season by looking like one of the worst teams in the league will not fool them like it did last year. “I don’…
Ottawa sends yearly reminder to rest of NHL that it has a hockey team too
OTTAWA – With another NHL season about to commence, the Ottawa Senators have once again reminded the rest of the league that they exist and are equipped to play hockey. “Hi guys, it’s us again, …
NHL fans excited to watch their team’s 5 remaining uninjured players when regular season begins
TORONTO – In the midst of a preseason that has lasted approximately 6 months, hockey fans are excited to watch the few players on their team healthy enough to play when the regular season b…
Leafs announce that making Matthews captain is the best way to distract fans from fact they haven’t made any significant roster changes again
TORONTO – In a press conference scheduled for Wednesday, the Toronto Maple Leafs are expected to announce that, after much deliberation, they believe giving Auston Matthews the captaincy is…
Calgary’s new Scotia Place joins ranks of iconic Canadian stadiums like Scotia Centre, Rogers Place, and Scotia Centre-Place
CALGARY – Calgary has unveiled the design of its new hockey arena and event centre, Scotia Place, which will share the same sleek and contemporary look as famous arenas across Canada like Rogers …
