TORONTO – Fans of the smash hit romance show Heated Rivalry, many of whom have also become fans of hockey, are expressing confusion at the discovery that the overwhelming majority of real l…
Tag: hockey
Evil spirit inside Olympic stuffed animal now controls Nathan MacKinnon’s mortal soul
MILAN – After the devastating loss to Team USA in the men’s hockey gold medal game on Sunday afternoon, it would appear that CBC broadcast cameras at the 2026 Winter Olympic Games captured the ve…
REPORT: Mark Carney calls Canadian Men’s Hockey locker room to offer consolation RRSP advice
MILAN – Following the leaking of locker room footage of the gold medal winning USA team receiving a call from US President Donald Trump with congratulations, footage has now come to light o…
Nation returns to Heated Rivalry to watch Canadians get fucked in a good way
OTTAWA – Following a heartbreaking 2-1 loss to Team USA at the Winter Olympics, viewers nationwide started a rewatch of the hockey romance series, Heated Rivalry, in search of a more uplift…
Hockey Canada ordered to pay nation’s therapy bills
MILAN – After causing the nation 3 straight days of what can only be described as “holy shit, holy shit, I’m going to lose my god damn mind” levels of stress at the Olympi…
Heated Rivalry season two to follow hockey players who secretly don’t cheat on their wives
OTTAWA – After a universally beloved first season of ground-breaking television, Heated Rivalry season two has been green-lit with a story following two new hockey players hiding their in-i…
Hockey fans rip into Team Canada’s Olympic roster before sitting down to read it
KINGSTON, ON – Seconds after Hockey Canada announced its men’s Olympic roster, fans nationwide expressed outrage at the players they assumed were chosen. “From the moment I read ‘Canada announce…
“This is totally the World Juniors” says woman trying to trick her boyfriend into watching Heated Rivalry
SUDBURY, ON – Local girlfriend Ashlynn Timbers is currently monitoring her boyfriend as he watches the program she told him was the World Juniors Hockey Tournament, but is in fact the steam…
Canadian economy rallies as #1 export now Heated Rivalry
OTTAWA – Canada’s economy, which has spent the year reeling due to American tariffs, is finishing strong thanks to the country’s new chief export, the gay hockey-romance drama H…
Connor McDavid signs two-year, $25M deferral of Leafs fans’ speculation
EDMONTON – Connor McDavid and the Maple Leafs fanbase have agreed to a two-year, $25 million deferral of all overoptimistic conjecture about the Oilers captain one day signing with Toronto. The c…
