By: Pierre Gagnon, Montreal resident As a wave of new lockdowns and curfews hit Canadians once more, I find myself resigned to living, working, and existing solely in my apartment. In the past, I…
Tag: Francois Legault
Quebec curfew aimed at new vampire strain of COVID that only comes out at night
QUEBEC CITY, QC – Facing criticism of the recent province-wide curfew, Quebec health officials have revealed the precaution is intended to shield the population from a recently discovered v…
Quebec homeless required to find homes by 8pm every day
QUEBEC – Premier François Legault announced that as part of the new pandemic curfew starting in Quebec, all homeless people will be required to find homes by 8pm every evening. “We need the…
Ontario, Quebec temporarily granted US statehood so Canadians don’t look bad due to COVID-19 cases
TORONTO, USA – The provinces of Ontario and Quebec are now temporarily part of the United States to save Canada’s moral superiority on its response to the coronavirus. The quick save face w…
“Yes, but so many seniors are still alive,” says Premier Legault
QUEBEC CITY – Quebec Premier François Legault defended his government’s decision to re-open schools, businesses, and private care homes despite the COVID-19 pandemic by pointing out that th…
Quebec suddenly fine with people covering their faces
QUEBEC CITY – As the province re-opens the government of Quebec has decided they’re actually super cool with teachers, civil servants and people accessing government services covering their…
Quebec not going to let some pissant cowboys from Alberta threaten separation like they do
QUEBEC – In response to Alberta’s Buffalo Declaration, Quebec politicians are refusing to allow a bunch of measly Albertan yokels muscle in on their tactic of threatening to separate from t…
Quebec’s version of Don Cherry happy real Don Cherry fired
QUEBEC – A Quebec man clearly inspired by former Hockey Night in Canada host Don Cherry says he is glad the abrasive sports pundit who inspired him has been removed from his job. The Premie…
Premier says only Quebecers entitled to service in English are descendants of Irish Orphans from that Heritage Minute
QUEBEC CITY – Francois Legault has declared that, moving forward, the only people in Quebec who will be able to obtain government services in English will be ones who can prove they are a d…
Quebec government maintains Bill 21 isn’t racist, only how they plan to implement it is
QUEBEC CITY – The Quebec government maintained that Bill 21, which forbids public servants in position of authority from wearing religious symbols, is not intrinsically discriminatory. The …
