TORONTO – As the percentage of Ontarians receiving their second dose increases dramatically, researchers are hailing the event as the first ever government run health campaign to succeed de…
Tag: Featured Post
Experts advise house hunting millennials to stop buying lattes and start forming exploitative development groups
TORONTO – After Core Development Group announced plans to buy a billion dollars worth of Canadian homes and convert them into rental units, financial advisers are telling millennials in the housi…
Doug Ford invokes second notwithstanding clause making it illegal to criticize him for invoking notwithstanding clause
TORONTO – After using the notwithstanding clause to pass a bill designed to stop teachers’ and nurses’ unions from running ads criticizing him, Doug Ford and the Ontario PCs hav…
Side effects of trying to book a shot using Ontario’s vaccination system worse than side effects of the vaccines
TORONTO – According to research by Health Canada, the health side effects of trying to book a vaccine appointment using Ontario’s vaccine registration portal are actually worse for yo…
Ford invokes Notwithstanding Clause to prevent people from pointing out what a fucking piece of shit he is
TORONTO – Doug Ford invoked the Notwithstanding Clause yesterday in order to pass an unconstitutional bill restricting outside parties from telling voters what an absolute piece of shit he …
Fully vaccinated grandparents descend on nation’s strip clubs
OTTAWA – As elderly Canadians receive their second COVID vaccine before younger citizens, hordes of thirsty seniors are flooding into the nation’s strip clubs. “I spent quarantine worrying I’d ha…
Ontario vaccination registration web-designers unprepared for possibility of people using site
TORONTO – After the provincial vaccination website opened to residents looking to book their second dose became slow, unwieldy, and inaccurate, web-designers hired for the job confronted th…
Thousands of losers wait in line for retail stores rather than have everything shipped to them by evil conglomerate
TORONTO – As retail stores opened in Ontario this weekend, thousands of losers, nobodies and morons chose to stand in line to buy items from retail stores instead of just ordering everythin…
Man who “loves reading” actually just likes falling asleep while holding a book
Minden Hills, ON – Local man Jacob Hall claims to love reading, but actually just loves falling asleep with a book on his chest. “Whether it’s sci-fi, fantasy or non-fiction, I …
Quiz: Can you remember these Canadian historical figures even though we took down their statues?
We all know that if we take down a statue of someone, they are immediately erased from all history textbooks and their actions lost to the sands of time. But can you, somehow, remember these impo…
