CALGARY – A Calgary woman is fairly certain that the Canadian census she just took online was interested in far more than gathering her vital statistics. “It started out normally, you know,…
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Companies outraged that workers are leaving minimum wage jobs before they can be replaced by robots
NEW YORK CITY – As more frontline workers opt to quit minimum wage jobs that could expose them to COVID, Company CEOs say they are furious that people would simply stay home and “cash…
Proud Boys Canada breaks up so members can pursue white supremacy solo projects
OTTAWA — Tragic! Fans of the far-right neo-fascist group the Proud Boys Canada were deeply saddened to learn this week that the self-styled defenders of Western chauvinism are breaking-up citing …
Conservatives starting to wonder if it’s a mistake to always choose the least likeable person on earth as leader
OTTAWA – Staring down the possibility of their third straight electoral defeat, members of the Conservative Party of Canada are beginning to entertain the notion that it may not be the wise…
Jason Kenney’s new restrictions include his sternest frowning yet
EDMONTON – Jason Kenney frowned directly into the camera for several minutes before announcing a new set of restrictions to combat Alberta’s soaring COVID rates. “Okay, you guys, this one’s for …
Ford recommends lying in order to get vaccine faster
TORONTO – During a recent press conference Premier Doug Ford recommended lying about your personal information in order to get the COVID vaccine faster. “After speaking with my experts, we …
“Who are we to say whether you should get the AstraZeneca vaccine or not?” says National Advisory Committee on Immunization
OTTAWA – The National Advisory Committee on Immunization has been accused of causing confusion by telling Canadians they “should do whatever feels right to them” with respect to…
BC apologizes for poor communication, says next pop-up vaccine clinic can be found “when moon and sun intertwine, where waters meet mountain’s spine”
VANCOUVER — After poor communication this week left dozens of people waiting hours for vaccines they would never get, BC Health Minister Adrian Dix formally apologized during the province’s lates…
New website allows Ontarians to sign up for a pretend vaccine waitlist just for funsies
TORONTO – Following months of frustration surrounding Ontario’s delayed vaccine rollout, officials have announced the launch of a new website that will allow Ontarians to sign up for …
Bipartisan win: Liberals and Conservatives put aside differences, come together to screw over workers
OTTAWA – Political observers were heartened this week to see the Liberals and the Conservatives put aside partisan considerations and vote together on a bill to force dockworkers who are st…
