ORLANDO, FL – In the wake of the recent mid-air explosion of a SpaceX rocket, thousands mourn as the company confirms that the CEO, Elon Musk, was not aboard the ship. Following what a SpaceX rep…
Tag: Elon Musk
US, Russia commence Ukraine Piece Talks, where Ukraine will be carved into pieces
RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA – Representatives from the United States and Russia met today to commence their “Ukraine Piece Talks” summit, wherein the two autocrat-led nations will disc…
Man who has spent entire political career attacking everybody promises he’ll attack Trump and Elon any minute now
OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre, who has famously spent his 21-year political career vociferously attacking any person or political entity which opposed him, has vowed to “any day now”…
Billionaire known for stealing people’s ideas debuts totally new, original salute
WASHINGTON D. C. – Attention seeking billionaire and human husk, Elon Musk, known for co-opting other people’s ideas and profiting from them, came out at President Trump’s inauguration to debut a…
Elon Musk assures users that hiding “likes” on X has nothing to do with the weird porn he likes, only election interference
SAN FRANCISCO – After X, formerly Twitter, announced yesterday that “likes” would now be privatized and hidden, owner Elon Musk assured users that the move had nothing to do with all the fr…
X employee takes extra shifts in Musk’s emerald mine to make ends meet
San Francisco, Zambia – Twitter née X programmer Terry Llyod has picked up a few night shifts in CEO Elon Musk’s emerald mine to pay off some of his rent. “It’s really my only option at thi…
Tesla clarifies not all of its cars have been recalled: “You can keep the exploded ones”
AUSTIN, TX –In an auto recall of unprecedented scale, the electric car maker Tesla is set to offer free updates for 2,000,000 cars in the US and Canada but insists this doesn’t mean that they’re …
Elon Musk patiently waits for Zuckerberg to leave his house so he can knock on door and run
San Francisco, CA – Elon Musk has reportedly been waiting outside Mark Zuckerberg’s San Francisco residence until he leaves his house so he can knock on his door and run. “I’m setting up an…
Elon Musk assures users his latest tweet too funny to be antisemitic
SAN FRANCISCO – Following backlash against his latest tweet that once again indulges in antisemitic conspiracy theories against George Soros, Twitter CEO Elon Musk has assured users that hi…
Queen’s University offers Musk 8 dollars a month to stop telling people he went there
KINGSTON, ON – Queen’s University has reached out to Elon Musk offering eight dollars a month to stop telling people he attended the higher learning institution. While the university …
